Is Freedom the New "F" Word?

The up-your-jihad skyscraper rising on the former site of the World Trade Center was called "Freedom Tower" until the building's owners -- the New York and New Jersey Port Authority -- said they were having trouble lining up tenants. The "Freedom Tower" name, prospective clients said, might make it a magnet for future terrorist attacks.

So, in a bold stroke of bureaucratic logic, they gave the building the same name its predecessor had when it was a magnet for terrorist attacks in 1993 and again on 9/11: One World Trade Center.

If it has come to this, that we avoid names that might inflame Islamic radicals -- words like freedom, liberty, America -- half measures will never do. If we're going to kiss some terrorist butt, let's do it in the grand style of the French.

Instead of resurrecting The World Trade Center, I offer the Port Authority a name that will grant the skyscraper permanent immunity from any attack by the craziest of Muslim crazies. We will call this structure...

The Osama bin Laden Building.

Okay, it's a little shocking at first, but the times they are a changin'. Just days before the Freedom Tower lost its heroic label, the Obama administration said we'll no longer use the phrases "enemy combatants" or "Global War on Terror." The war against terrorism is now called, "Overseas Contingency Operations."

This has thrilled members of our Armed Forces, many of whom were terribly confused about their mission until now. "None of us could figure out what a War on Terror is," a Marine sergeant said, "but we're really excited about laying our lives on the line for an 'Overseas Contingency Operation.' "

Meanwhile, back at Ellis Island, the National Park Service is taking bids for construction of an Islamic headscarf and face-covering for the Statue of Liberty. The world-famous beacon of freedom will soon have "a new look and a much safer name," said a Park Service spokesman.

"We're going to call it Mohammad's Mama." 

Comments

[Gina Fire]

"The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people." Noam Chomsky. (I'm fairly certain, given the opportunity to restate this sentiment, Dr. Chomsky would include "terrorism" in his litany.)

[Sophia Fire]

What a great piece! Every paragraph had punch.

It amazes me how you take the very logic of an opposing side, espouse it as your own, and magnify it to reveal how fantastically ilogical and inept the thought process is! And then on top of that feat, you give us a good laugh!
"Mohammad's Mama"! How do you think of these things?!

[The Loud Talker]

Here's an alternative: "Pork Tower"

Muslims can't touch it, and we can always claim that it is reference to current legislation!

Keep fighting the good fight.