President Obama's invitation to Iranian diplomats to attend July 4th celebrations at U.S. embassies around the world still stands, despite the regime's brutal crackdown on its citizens.
"In light of current events, however," said White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, "the Iranians will not be accorded the same privileges as other invitees. For example, none of them will be given complimentary sparklers."
"Everyone will have sparklers except the Iranians?" I asked.
"Yes, and they're going to feel like total idiots," Gibbs said. "They'll just have to stand around with their hands in their pockets, or wherever it is Iranians put their hands when they don't have sparklers to wave."
"Some people think the invitation to the Iranians should have been withdrawn altogether," I said.
"Sparkler deprivation is only part of their punishment," Gibbs continued. "They will also be turned away at the hot dog and soda pop lines."
"No hot dogs or sodas for the Iranians?"
"The President has made it crystal clear: Kill your people for protesting an election -- no free hot dogs from Uncle Sam. He has drawn a line in the mustard."
"What about the fireworks display?" I asked. "Will they be allowed to watch?"
"We will ask that they close one eye," Gibbs said. "But we're not sure we can trust the bastards."
Since he can't cut the mustard, he might as well draw with it.
Posted by: Gina Fire | June 24, 2009 at 05:47 AM
I love it! What a fun and clever post!
The most recent news I just heard was that America is uninviting the Iranian delegates. However, since no Iranian accepted the invitation anyway, they might not be too disappointed.
Obama sure knows how to stick it to them.
Posted by: Sophia Fire | June 24, 2009 at 06:05 PM