Prior to departing Russia on Tuesday for the G-8 meeting in Italy, President Obama expressed frustration and regret that his first visit to Moscow was eclipsed by the Michael Jackson memorial service in Los Angeles.
"This week was supposed to be all about me," Obama told reporters. "Instead, the news is nothing but Michael, Michael, Michael." In a rare public expletive, the President then shook his head and muttered, "Sheee-it!"
A mortified Michelle Obama attempted to lead her husband away from shocked reporters, but Mr. Obama was having none of it.
"I mean, really, what had Jackson done beyond the musical world? The guy couldn't even play basketball. I would've dunked on him like he was a little girl. Sheee-it!"
"Barack," the First Lady pleaded, "you're scaring the children."
"No, they need to hear this!" the President snapped. "I could have spent my early years just like him -- singing with the brothers on street corners, dancing the alligator for nickels and dimes from the rich folk passing by. But no! I set my sights on Harvard Law School and became President of the United States."
"Everyone knows you can sing and dance," Michelle said. "And yes, you could dunk on Michael."
"With either hand, Michelle. With either hand."
White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said Mr. Obama's remarks must be read in context to be correctly understood.
"All the President was suggesting," Gibbs said, "was that Michael Jackson was a mediocre basketball player. There's no shame in that."
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