The Center for Disease Control reports that one in 200 teenagers are vegetarians, and the number of older teens with the disease could be as high as three percent. The no-meaters are mostly girls, and the predominant motivation is compassion for animals.
"What these foolish young ladies don't realize is that they greatly reduce their pool of potential suitors when they go green at the table," a doctor of psychology told me. "With rare exceptions, very masculine men simply aren't attracted to women who eliminate meat from their diets."
"What kind of men do they attract, then?" I asked.
"Either males who are also vegetarians," he replied (we both snickered), "or the nerdiest of the nerdniks."
A typical man probably put it best when he made the following observation: "For a guy, there is no greater aphrodisiac than watching a strong woman attack a healthy cut of beef. Her jaws are working like crazy, her eyes are half closed, she has a light sheen of sweat on her forehead, and a few drops of steak juice are sliding down her chin. Let me tell you, baby, that is hot!"
"Of course it's hot," the psychologist said. "And on top of that, vegetarian girls simply get fewer dates. It's easy and natural for a guy to say, 'Hey, would you like to go out for a burger and a beer?' But what man feels comfortable saying, 'Hey, would you like to go out for tofu and a tea?' "
"I guess only male vegetarians would be comfortable saying that," I offered (we snickered again). "Or guys with bow ties and pocket protectors."
"That's right," the psychologist said. "A girl's decision to be a vegetarian can have the gravest of social consequences. In most cases, they are sentencing themselves to either never finding a mate, or if they do, a lifetime of sexual dissatisfaction."
